Tuesday, February 21, 2006

No square to spare? Look out!

I've heard of some really stupid acts in my time, but this one has to rank right up there among the dumbest of all time.

A Florida man has been accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home.

Franklin Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office. Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement, but confessed during questioning.

Yes, that's right. A man's life was snuffed because his roommate couldn't deal with a lack of toilet paper. Somewhere, Mr. Whipple is looking down with a knowing grin on his face. A man's gotta have his Charmin, after all.

But the perp in this case didn't just kill his roommate. No. He bashed his head in so badly that his identity had to be confirmed through fingerprinting.

Now that's some serious toilet paper rage. Must have been a five-wiper!


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